Group childcare for Channel Islands Social Service - 10/20/2011

Last night my new friend Faby and I worked for Channel Islands Social Services doing a group childcare for a Rainbow Family Resource Center parent workshop. There were possibly 9 kids to be watched but it turned out to be five. Three very active boys and two very sweet girls! We had fun doing puzzles, coloring and most fun of all playing Uno! I watched four of them and Faby watched the one very active boy who was all over the place the entire time. It was actually a pretty equal split up believe it or not. The two sets of parents received some great information from the Occupational Therapist presenter and their kids were occupied for about two hours. A win, win!

La Leche League Peer Counselor emails and Jadalyn's story ~ January 23, 2004

It was so good to speak with you this afternoon. I am amazed at your energy
and resilience, and most of all your dedication to and love for your
daughter, Jadalyn. She is a very fortunate little one to have a mother like
you who works so hard to give her the best.

As I mentioned on the phone, our local trainer there is Karen Peters, who is
the chair of the LA Breastfeeding Task Force and is one of our Peer
Counselor trainers. I am copying this to her and I am sure she will respond
to you as soon as she can. I do not know whether she has any trainings
planned but she can fill you in on when or if there are any scheduled. Your
situation does not eliminate you from the Peer Counselor Program. Your many
attempt to bring Jadalyn to your breast and your continuing to provide your
milk for her shows great determination and love. You are in a great place
for breastfeeding resources! Keep asking and looking, and never, never give
up! We need more women like you.

With warm wishes,

Kathy

PS. Your story is amazing, would you mind if I submitted it to our New
Beginnings magazine?
Peer Counselor Program Manager
La Leche League International

==========================================================================La Dear Kathy,
 
I am interested in taking the La Leche League Peer Counselor Program. I
have wanted to become a Lactation Consultant for the past ten years but I
was waiting until I had nursed my own child before starting on the path. 
 
I was married in July 2002 to a wonderful man and we decided right away to
get pregnant. I was pregnant by December. I went through all the
prenatal testing and visits, had a few scares but in the end it was
determined that everything was okay with the baby. 

My water broke a week before her due date. I wasn't contracting so the
Midwife suggested I use Castor oil to get things started. I had some
contractions but they stopped. I went into the hospital the next day
thinking that I would have a natural childbirth labor and a healthy baby.
I could not have been more wrong. They had to put me on pitocin because I
was not contracting. After 19 hours on a very low dose they decided to
increase it to the maximum level. At that time my Midwife suggested that
I get an epidural. So I did and then in the morning they checked me and I
still was only dilated to 5cm. Finally at 10am I had dilated to 8cm and
there was still hope that I would be able to push the baby out. At 12pm
they checked me again and I still was at 8cm. They had been also been
monitoring me from outside the room as well because my Midwife came in
with the doctor and I knew it wasn't good. (She had mentioned c-section
earlier if I did not continue to dilate) They told me that they would
have to do a c-section as I was not contracting in a regular way, or
dilating and the baby had never moved down beyond a -1 position. So I
went in for the c-sec at 2pm. When the baby came out she made a small
little cry/sigh and I knew something was wrong. They called my husband
over and my Midwife held my hand while they finished sewing me up. I saw
the baby for a moment and they whisked her out of the room. In the
recovery room my Midwife brought the baby in (Jadalyn Angel Sidener - 6
lbs 15 ounces) and told me that there were a lot of problems with her.
She had hydrocephalus and that is why she never descended in my pelvis.
She had club feet and they couldn't tell what else. We were in a smaller
hospital so they had to send her to their larger hospital that had a NICU.
I had to remain in the hospital to recover from my surgery. My husband
went back and forth between the two of us. She was transferred to
Children's Hospital in Los Angeles the day after she was born. When I got
out of the hospital I wanted to go straight away to see her. It was so
difficult because she had so many problems. I cried and cried so very
much in those early days. She stayed in the hospital for two months. She
had five surgeries (a shunt, an operation to take it out when it got
infected, a revision shunt surgery, an open heart surgery to repair a hole
in the center of her heart and on the bottom of her heart and a surgery to
fix the malrotation of her intestines and to put in a G-Tube because she
was not feeding every feed with the bottle (she tired easily) and they
wanted to get her home to us). Although she had many challenges, she
continued to get better and better. I never gave up hope even though it
seemed that the doctors wanted us to. A few weeks before she came home
they told us that due to her hydrocephalus not a lot of brain material
had formed and what did form was very abnormal. Due to this and her
chromosome problem (which is what caused all of these abnormalities) they
did not think she would live very long and they wanted her to come home as
soon as possible so that she could die at home. After her abdominal
surgery she had respiratory distress and they had a meeting with us and said
they would take her off of the respirator and they did not think she would
live through the weekend. If she did and she was okay they would send her
home with us. Talk about a contradiction! She made it through, as she
always did before, and she came home. She is continuing to do well at
home and there is hope. She went to her pediatrician on Friday and she
seemed to think that Jadalyn is doing really well and could make it
after all. We have hospice care for her but we continue to think it is
just a nice bonus to have nursing care at home, instead of a death
sentence. 
 
Before Jadalyn was born I had bought a Pump In Style breast pump so that I
could pump when I went back to work. It was not cheap but after a few
weeks of going to the hospital every day to see my baby my milk supply was
starting to dwindle. I called my Midwife to see what she would suggest
and she gave me the number of one of the local La Leche League Leaders,
Katie D. I called Katie and she was an enormous
help. She could relate completely to Jadalyn's story as she had some of
her similar challenges. She was so knowledgeable and supportive. She
told me right away that I should be using a hospital grade pump. She
brought it over to my house and the difference was amazing. I stopped
having pain when I was pumping and my milk supply increased. I had wanted
to breastfeed Jadalyn with all my heart and soul but a few things stood in
my way - her heart problems and surgeries made her very weak and so the
doctors did not want me to put stress on her by breastfeeding. Her suck
was/is very weak. It is hard for her to even drink from a bottle (but we
keep training her every day in hopes that she can eventually eat by mouth
and not via the G-Tube) I also discovered that she is tongue tied. So my
dreams of breastfeeding (since I was 23 years old) were dashed and it
added to my many disappointments. I started pumping once my milk came in
(at about 7 days postpartum) and I continue to this day. I will continue
as long as possible because I feel so strongly that it is helping my baby
to grow and thrive and it is helping her immune system to stay strong.
Plus her little brain needs all the help it can get! 

I became interested in breastfeeding when I was 23 and I was hanging out
with my cousin Laura who lives in San Diego. She was breastfeeding her
third child at the time. She is amazing! She breastfed all of her
children for three years each, she home schools, she recycles, she
composts, she is an organic farmer, she does it all! She educated and
inspired me to become interested in natural birth and breastfeeding. I
have continued to be interested in breastfeeding to this day. I have
wanted to help women to breastfeed for such a long time but I felt that I
should do it first. I have put my baby to breast, many times, but she
could not get any milk out. Katie even tried to help but to no avail. I
realize that you should have breastfed your baby before you become a Peer
Counselor but in my case I was not able to. I am planning on taking a
Lactation Educator 5 day course at the Lactation Institute in Encino in
August. I would like to become more involved with La Leche League now
that I am healed from my c-section and have a schedule with Jadalyn. I
have joined a local group called Breastfeeding Task Force of Los Angeles
and plan on volunteering with them when I can on the weekends. I work
full time and am very lucky because I work at home four days a week and go
into the office once a week, so I am able to be home with my baby. My
husband and I plan on having more children and I plan on breastfeeding
them. Due to my experience I would like to help Moms who have children
with special needs to breastfeed. I know how important it is and how they
need the support, reassurance and guidance from someone who has been
there. I did not feel the support in the hospital. I had to get it in
the community. Please let me know if I am eligible for the Peer Counselor
Program, what steps I should take to get involved and if you will have any
classes in the Los Angeles or Ventura County, California area in the
coming year. Thank you for your time.
*****POSTSCRIPT***** I did give Kathy permission to put my story in the La Leche League magazine. I eventually took a LLL Peer Counselor Training. I did not do anything after that. Life was always so busy and it was hard for me to do the follow up work taking care of Jadalyn and working full time. I still would like to help moms with special needs children to breastfeed because I feel like it is such a bonding experience and is so healthy and healing for both mom and baby!

La Leche League International

Message from friend Judyth ~ January 6, 2004

This sounds wonderful. I think Jada is your teacher actually - you are seeking outside of the self, when you have already been transformed is what my angels are saying.

You can do anything you put your heart to, and your inspiration is Jadalyn. She is at the heart of everything. I DO feel strongly that you have set awesome goals, but that her care since it is at the heart-and she will need some constant care and focus for a while. If you plan online courses where you can study and hold her too, that would be optimum. Your goal in helping other Moms is so great too, and I see you focusing on Mom's with special needs children, giving them hope when the medical community has them hopeless and frightened.

I see you with more children - a boy and a girl, seems like twins. They are both born normal, the boy is very smart and the little girl is playing with a doll. There is a age difference in them and Jada of about 4-5 years though.

I HOPE you've got a picture of this little beauty for us to display or one of all of you. Sounds like she is doing great and just going and growing. Has she nursed yet?

=========================================================================

Hi Judyth,
I wanted to ask you what you think of my two year plan.
This year take Basic Cooking Class at Let's Get Cooking.
Next August take Lactation Educator course at the Lactation Institute.
Next Fall start taking my science classes for BS degree in Nutrition.
In Fall 2006 attend CSUN to finish core classes for degree in Nutrition.
Work at WIC, with breastfeeding moms and their nutrition for my internship. I will be able to get some of my internship hours for the CSUN degree as well as hours to become a Lactation Consultant.
During the next two years complete Post Partum Doula training.
With all of this training I would like to have a Post Partum Doula service and work as a Independent Lactation Consultant.

Also, be the best Mommy to Jadalyn!

And.... in the next few years have one more baby. We have been talking about doing Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis where they take my egg and George's sperm, make embryos and then test them for their genetic/chromosomal makeup. They then implant one to two embryos into my uterus. So we could actually have twins.

I told Geo that I want to be a full time Mom and go to school full time. But first I have to pay off our bills. So this year I have a plan to do that.

So what do you think? I think by the time I am 35 I could be able to get out of insurance and into school full time and by the time I'm 40 I could be a certified Post Partum Doula and Lactation Consultant.
*****POST SCRIPT***** Well, I didn't take the cooking classes, I took several Lactation Educator classes but have not completed the post class part, we did PGD but it was not successful so a year after that we used a sperm donor and had Elizabeth Madeline, then in 2010 we used the same sperm donor and had twin girls Poppy and Violet, I am currently a full time stay at home Mom and working on going to school to become a Genetic Counselor.

Monday Night Sisterhood Meetings

Last night was my Monday Night Breastfeeding "Sisterhood" meeting at the New Parent Resource Center in Ventura. I love that group so much! I'm able to bring all my kids. The big kids run around crazy with a teenager who corrals them and all of the Moms and Babies sit around a huge circle and we each get to say what's going on with us and our breastfeeding and any other parenting things that come up. It is a wonderful, safe and fun place to share your feelings and get what's going on out! We are led by Paris the awesome lactation consultant. I've made friends at this meeting that I hope continue on through the years.

Rainbow Parent Resource Job - October 4, 2011

I received an email response from the Rainbow Connection Family Resource Center yesterday. Advising more details about the Parent Resource job and stating that if I was still interested to get back to them by October 5th. So of course I responded immediately that yes I am very interested! Part of the requirements for the Genetic Counseling programs I am interested in is counseling experience, usually it is crisis counseling but counseling families with children who have special needs would fit as well. As Genetic Counseling usually happens during pregnancy when parents are first aware that their child may be born with special needs. Counseling and helping families with children with special needs is something that I would perfect at, it is what I have done on my own for many years while I had Miss Jadalyn. It is my joy to help others in any way I can.

IEP Training at Rainbow Connection Family Resource Center ~ October 1, 2011

I applied for a job as a Resource Parent at the Rainbow Connection Family Resource Center in Oxnard last week. One of the things they suggested is that we attend one of their upcoming trainings so I signed up for the IEP Training on October 1st. It was me, two parents of children with special needs and three Rainbow employees. It was so interesting and informative to talk about all the different scenarios and to learn what is going on these days and the challenges being faced by parents of children with Autism. I don't know why I didn't use their resources when Jadalyn was here with us. It would have been so nice to meet with people that understood and could give me guidance. I did network with many parents and people in the special needs children community but it was at a different level. Usually one on one, meeting at a doctors office, at the hospital, that sort of thing. I also learned a lot of what was available from Jadalyn's therapists and nurses that came to our home and told me about different programs or things available to her. It was a constantly evolving project.